Grief: A Life Partner.

 

Grief is not a pathology, a temporary affliction you’ll soon get over, or a series of stages to work through. Nor is it a price you pay for having loved, a special clubhouse, or countless other feel-good quotes and platitudes brought to you by the internet in the form of lovely memes.

Grief comes to us as an invitation, like a sealed envelope. It asks for us to dare open ourselves up and awaken to its gifts, teachings, and bounty. And Grief is an initiation to walk a more courageous walk. Think Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey and you’re onto something. 

Grief is a big part of this real & raw ride of being alive. It beckons to us at various times in our life and like the sacred cargo it is, it must be carried in some way.

Sadly though, we live in a grief denying & deficit culture/era. We’re told to get over it or we are made to feel like we are losing our minds when we are in the fresh throes of it.

And so, we must seek out ways to befriend Grief and learn to move with it. If we allow it (along with its conjoined twin, Joy), Grief will become one of our truest guides and companions. It will take us to the growing edge of what it means to be most human.

Will our heart crack open countless more times along the way in doing so? Yes, guaranteed…that’s part of the deal. But if we tend to our Grief, we’ll also learn something about the fine art of golden repair (kintsugi) as a heart-healing practice. We’ll discover things about how to ask for support and lend comfort to others.

What does this repair look like? A lot like a spiritual practice or any other discipline. It begins with letting it in, setting a bowl for it, and making time/space for Grief.

Think story, movement, ritual, drumming, dance, art, poetry, forgiveness, forest walks, sharing circles, and legacy work and you’re onto some of Grief’s favorite activities.

Does this sound like something your Grief seeks for you? If so, have a look at my Grief Offerings and know that there’s an empty chair waiting for both of you, should you feel called to join in.  

 

Survival in grief, even eventually building a new life alongside grief, comes with the willingness to bear witness, both to yourself and to the others who find themselves inside this life they didn’t see coming. Together, we create real hope for ourselves, and for one another.”
Megan Devine, It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand